Friday, February 17, 2012

It's almost been a whole year since I've posted on here. That's such a surreal feeling.

Here's an excerpt from my journal :

Things are easier, and harder all at the same time. You're not entirely sure how you feel. Some days are good and some days are bad.

You still get sad sometimes, but you notice that if you slap on a smile, you somehow find a way to get over it / through it.

You're still growing, everyday, even though last year you thought you were the biggest grownup (don't ever think that again).

You'll grow and grow and learn and learn until the day you die and there's no denying that.

We're always in the process of growing, and learning, and becoming something else that it's almost pointless to focus on the little things that upset us.

Why not focus on the little things that make us smile, and the big things that keep us going.

Everything that has happened is over, and even though it seems like it was decades ago, it was only a few years, and it doesn't burn as much as it used to. There's always going to be something going on that isn't in your favor, and really isn't going as you want it to. But you find ways to make things work.

And that sore feeling will keep getting smaller and smaller until it's not even noticeable unless you see a photo, or smell a familiar scent. And at times like that it's okay to remember the hurt for a little while, it's okay to remember how much it burns because at one point, that was your life, and that has shaped you into who you have become. It's okay to shed a tear every now and then because that means you are human, and you feel. You are no longer numb, and that's is so beautiful.

So remember to hurt, but remember to not let it completely control who you are.

It's by no means easy, and it is a very hard balance to find. But it's worth it. And that I truly believe.

No one said it would be easy, and it's not. But that is what's wonderful about the world, and that is what's beautiful about feeling.

Working towards making your own life what you want it to be and learning how to really honestly happy, and not getting caught up in all the mess that seems to try and get you down.

Every feeling you ever feel is beautiful and strong. No matter, happy or sad, embrace it.

I'm going to try and start blogging (real blogging, not tumblr blogging) soon. I promise myself.

1 comment:

  1. This is so close to what I've been feeling and thinking lately and the way you put it into words is just lovely.